When I was deconditioning my own energy my emotional landscape was my north star.

(For those new around here, in Human Design the goal is to decondition yourself from not-self patterns and beliefs and align instead with your highest potential.)

Why were my emotions my north star?

Because your emotions give you a direct reflection of the thoughts and beliefs of your unconscious mind.

How you react to life is based upon your own unconscious patterns and cycles.

The anger rises from an unconscious belief, the fear rises from an unconscious belief, the frustration, the shame, the anxiety, the judgement, the sadness…. Etc etc

Emotions are an internal chemical reaction that allows you TO experience life through the lens of your unconscious beliefs.

Your emotional experience is the only way we get to feel life, without emotions we can’t feel life and we can't’ experience it.

Without emotions we would go through life in a state of ‘meh’ and indifference.

Emotions give us the miracle of feeling all of life.

And they rise and fall in accordance with what you believe about yourself and life.

Allowing you to experience yourself and life.

Emotions are not facts of life or truth, it's a simple chemical reaction responding to the thoughts you are repeatedly entertaining.

Your emotions bring your thoughts to life, giving them life, so your thoughts get to create a reality for you to experience.

So they play such a valuable role in knowing thy self and deconditioning in Human Design.

How are your emotions giving your self perception life?

How are your emotions giving your self worth life?

How are your emotions giving your relation to others life?

I started with mirror work a few years ago and honestly, it was difficult.

I had not looked in a mirror for years, decades even.

And when I stopped and looked into my own eyes I was flooded with emotions, self loathing, dissatisfaction, hatred, shame.

But instead of looking away I stayed with the emotions and allowed them to communicate with me.

They helped me understand I held quite a poor impression of myself, they helped me see a deep rooted pattern of feeling unlovable unless I was being of service to people, a pattern of not being enough as I was and instead shaming myself for being not quite as good as everyone else, they helped me see that I was neglecting myself and sacrificing myself.

Previously I had ignored, reacted to or suppressed such emotion - all the while losing out on the opportunity to see myself in a new light and only giving more power to the limiting thoughts the emotions originated from.

Then I started to notice how I felt around other people, I began to observe the thoughts, feelings, and sensations in my physical body when certain situations would arise.

I noticed that when I felt like people didn't ‘get me’ I immediately felt rejected and began to reject them through my behaviour and words as a way to protect my heart from this feeling.

I also noticed that I felt I had to ‘bring something to the table’ otherwise I wouldn't be liked, loved, or accepted.

Which resulted in a lovely phase of over giving, I even paid for a friend's monthly rent once because they didn't have the money, resulting in me not having enough money for my own…..

Another pattern I spotted was in romantic relationships I felt I had to outperform financially and professionally, in an awful masculine way - which resulted in my attracting a load of man babies with no ambition into my life who were happy to drain my resources without a care in the world, and I was happy to give and sacrifice myself because I thought I had to, because being me wasn’t enough…

What I also noticed throughout this contemplation period was that whatever thoughts I gave life to by focusing on them became the only reality possible(read that again), and when opportunities to experience something different came along, it was always sabotaged.

For example I was in a relationship in my early twenties that I would die for now, I was entirely in my feminine, supported, nurtured, cherished, yet it did not align with my belief of ‘I have to bring something to the table’, so I sabotaged that (insane) and instead went off seeking a load of man babies to drain me, because that did align.

Your nervous system becomes addicted to a known pattern, so the pattern of being supported was immediately rejected by my nervous system, in favour of seeking the familiar pattern of not being enough, good enough, lovable without a catch, or receiving unconditional love.

The fastest way to regulate your nervous system by the way it to know thyself inside and out, know thy triggers, patterns and behaviour, and to choose action that aligns with what you desire, without wavering - even in the midst of psychological tension, and it updates, upgrades, and relaxes into your new chosen patterns and cycles.

Your emotions hold deep and powerful miraculous wisdom, and I will never stop being in the contemplation of what they are trying to tell me.

So my invitation to you is to start to explore what your emotions are communicating to you.

L xx